WITHOUT CHEMISTRY I

Chemistry is the elusive quality that separates a romantic relationship from a platonic one. It’s the special attraction, the magical essence that makes us want to have sex with a particular person, to blend and be one with that person. Since chemistry is such a powerful force, it has to be handled carefully.

If sex can be the glue that keeps even a bad relationship alive, it can also, ironically, be the death of a good relationship, if the timing isn't right. For years movies and novels have given us variations of the "instant-fireworks" scenario, wherein two virtual strangers fall into bed together, have perfect sex, fall in love, and live happily ever after. There's no denying this makes a good story, but, real life situations these stories can be different. Here’s a more likely scenario:

Imagine that you're with someone who's really pretty wonderful. There are no red flags popping up in your head, no signs that this person has critical flaws, no indication that sex with this individual would be a ghastly mistake. Quite the contrary — you've been out together a couple of times, things are going well between you, and the chemistry has hit full force. Everything seems quite natural. Maybe this truly is the perfect person for you.

So here you are, in bed together for the first time. And suddenly you realize you are buck naked, staring straight into the eyes of somebody who is, for all practical purposes, a stranger. There you are, absolutely exposed to someone you really don't know at all, on the verge of participating in the most intimate act two human beings can possibly do together. So how do you feel? Romantic? Overwhelmed with passion?

No, more than likely you're scared silly — or, at the very least, you're feeling more than a little awkward or self-conscious. The bigger these negative feelings get, the less fun you're going to have.

If you're a woman, the effect can be an inability to achieve orgasm. It's difficult enough to be nude in front of somebody you scarcely know, but having a climax means truly giving up control...

See; WITHOUT CHEMISTRY II


Excerpted From: “Cracking the Love Code,” Janet O’Neal
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc.