Each of us has two distinct choices to make about what we will do with our lives. The first choice we can make is to be less than we have the capacity to be. To earn less! To have less!! To read less and think less!!! To try less and discipline ourselves less!!!! These are the choices that lead to an empty life. These are the choices that, once made, lead to a life of constant apprehension instead of a life of wondrous anticipation.And the second choice? To do it all! To become all that we can possibly be! To read every book that we possibly can! To earn as much as we possibly can! To give and share as much as we possibly can! To strive and produce and accomplish as much as we possibly can! All of us have the choice. To do or not to do! To be or not to be! To be all or to be less or to be nothing at all!Like the tree, it would be a worthy challenge for us all to stretch upward and outward to the full measure of our capabilities. Why not do all that we can, every moment that we can, the best that we can, for as long as we can?Our ultimate life objective should be to create as much as our talent and ability and desire will permit. To settle for doing less than we could do is to fail in this worthiest of undertakings.Results are the best measurement of human progress. Not conversation... Not explanation... Not justification... Results! And if our results are less than our potential suggests that they should be, then we must strive to become more today than we were the day before. The greatest rewards are always reserved for those who bring great value to themselves and the world around them as a result of who and what they have become.
BY: Jim Rohn
Copyright 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
Thursday, August 30, 2007
BARRIERS TO TEAM SUCCESS
Knowing the potential of teams, why do some people still insist on doing things all by themselves? Outlined here, are some of the reasons for such endeavors:
1) Ego
Few people are fond of admitting that they can’t do everything, yet that’s a reality of life. “It marks a big step in your development when you come to realize that other people can help you do a better job than you could do alone,” – Andrew Carnegie.To do something really big, you gotta let go of your ego, and get ready to be part of a team!
2) Insecurity
Only secure leaders can empower others! Insecurity, rather poor judgement or lack of intelligence, most often causes leaders to surround themselves with weak power. And fail to promote teamwork because they feel threatened by other people. “The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him,”- Niccolo Machiavelli.
Insecure leaders usually fail to build teams because;
either they want to maintain control over everything for which they are responsible, or they fear being replaced by someone more capable.
In either case, leaders who fail to promote teamwork undermine their own potential and erode the best efforts of the people with whom they work.
3) Naiveté
Leaders, who fail to become team builders, naively underestimate the difficulty of achieving big things. As a result, they try to get to go it alone. Thus, they learn too late and never accomplish their goals. “If I had it to do all over again, I’d get help.”
4) Temperament
Some people aren’t very outgoing and simply don’t think in terms of team building and team participation. As they face challenges, it never occurs to them to enlist others to achieve something.
Why take the journey alone when you can invite others along with you? If you do everything alone and never partner with other people, you create huge barriers to your own potential. It takes a team to do anything of lasting value. “People have been known to achieve more as a result of working with others than against them,”- Dr. Allen Fromme.
Excerpted From: the 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, John C. Maxwell
Copyright 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
1) Ego
Few people are fond of admitting that they can’t do everything, yet that’s a reality of life. “It marks a big step in your development when you come to realize that other people can help you do a better job than you could do alone,” – Andrew Carnegie.To do something really big, you gotta let go of your ego, and get ready to be part of a team!
2) Insecurity
Only secure leaders can empower others! Insecurity, rather poor judgement or lack of intelligence, most often causes leaders to surround themselves with weak power. And fail to promote teamwork because they feel threatened by other people. “The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him,”- Niccolo Machiavelli.
Insecure leaders usually fail to build teams because;
either they want to maintain control over everything for which they are responsible, or they fear being replaced by someone more capable.
In either case, leaders who fail to promote teamwork undermine their own potential and erode the best efforts of the people with whom they work.
3) Naiveté
Leaders, who fail to become team builders, naively underestimate the difficulty of achieving big things. As a result, they try to get to go it alone. Thus, they learn too late and never accomplish their goals. “If I had it to do all over again, I’d get help.”
4) Temperament
Some people aren’t very outgoing and simply don’t think in terms of team building and team participation. As they face challenges, it never occurs to them to enlist others to achieve something.
Why take the journey alone when you can invite others along with you? If you do everything alone and never partner with other people, you create huge barriers to your own potential. It takes a team to do anything of lasting value. “People have been known to achieve more as a result of working with others than against them,”- Dr. Allen Fromme.
Excerpted From: the 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, John C. Maxwell
Copyright 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
HOW TO BE SOCIAL AT A PARTY
Many people are shy, but often it's just their excuse for being nervous in a room full of new people, or even people you know. You don't want to interrupt their conversation, or you could end up snubbing the wrong person by mistake, so you'd rather not get involved.
Now that you have been invited into a party, it's time to learn how to act in a party!
1. Look at people that appear to be social, and check what they do. Make a list of good behaviors.
2. Analyze this, discard undesirable behavior.
3. Reduce your list to 5 to 10 points of observed behavior.
4. Practice one point at a time at different parties. Don't be afraid to fail -- Rome was not built in a day.
5. Get started. When you feel ready, take the plunge. Head to a party or club!
6. Arrive 10 -15 minutes after the designated time, as that gives plenty of time for new people to arrive.
7. Smile.
8. Mingle and talk to new people. Ask to be introduced, or get stuck in and do it yourself!
9. Enjoy yourself; there is nothing more boring in a party than a worried face.
10. Include others. When you're in a conversation with other people and someone new walk up, look at him or her, smile and turn your body so that the group includes the newcomer.
Excerpted By: Timo Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
Now that you have been invited into a party, it's time to learn how to act in a party!
1. Look at people that appear to be social, and check what they do. Make a list of good behaviors.
2. Analyze this, discard undesirable behavior.
3. Reduce your list to 5 to 10 points of observed behavior.
4. Practice one point at a time at different parties. Don't be afraid to fail -- Rome was not built in a day.
5. Get started. When you feel ready, take the plunge. Head to a party or club!
6. Arrive 10 -15 minutes after the designated time, as that gives plenty of time for new people to arrive.
7. Smile.
8. Mingle and talk to new people. Ask to be introduced, or get stuck in and do it yourself!
9. Enjoy yourself; there is nothing more boring in a party than a worried face.
10. Include others. When you're in a conversation with other people and someone new walk up, look at him or her, smile and turn your body so that the group includes the newcomer.
Excerpted By: Timo Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
A SPECIAL WORLD
A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.
Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.
And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.
- Sheelagh Lennon -
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.
Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.
And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.
- Sheelagh Lennon -
NETWORKING SMART
Look the part
Forget what people say about not judging others by their looks. How else can you get a quick impression of a person's personality? If you look sharp, people will address you accordingly; if you dress like a bum, you might cost yourself some new contacts.
Be ambitious
Someone who is driven will get much further in life -- much faster. People like to associate themselves with individuals who want to get things done. Don't wait for things to happen; go out and make them happen.
Give credit where credit is dueDon't forget to give recognition and credit to those who have helped you along the way, no matter how minimal their assistance. By thanking the people who have directly or indirectly taken part in your success story, you'll increase the chances that they'll help you out again in the future.
Meet and greet
Now get out there and start talking to people because you never know how they can help you. Grab a bunch of business cards and go on a contact rampage.
Keep track
What's the point of having an abundance of phone numbers if they aren't easily accessible? Keeping a close grip on valuable contact information is as important as getting the phone numbers in the first place.
Keep a constantly updated list of your contacts on your PDA or computer. The information can be cataloged by first or last name or by company. Also, don't forget to get their personal contact information -- like e-mail addresses, cell phone numbers, and so on -- in case they move on to bigger and better things.
In order to avoid having them forget you, call them up every couple of months to touch bases. It's important to remember details about your contacts. Ask questions when you meet or talk to them for the first time. For example, you can ask about previous work experience, future plans or even their family. A great way to remember this information is to immediately write it on the back of their business card.
Excerpted By: Tim Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
Forget what people say about not judging others by their looks. How else can you get a quick impression of a person's personality? If you look sharp, people will address you accordingly; if you dress like a bum, you might cost yourself some new contacts.
Be ambitious
Someone who is driven will get much further in life -- much faster. People like to associate themselves with individuals who want to get things done. Don't wait for things to happen; go out and make them happen.
Give credit where credit is dueDon't forget to give recognition and credit to those who have helped you along the way, no matter how minimal their assistance. By thanking the people who have directly or indirectly taken part in your success story, you'll increase the chances that they'll help you out again in the future.
Meet and greet
Now get out there and start talking to people because you never know how they can help you. Grab a bunch of business cards and go on a contact rampage.
Keep track
What's the point of having an abundance of phone numbers if they aren't easily accessible? Keeping a close grip on valuable contact information is as important as getting the phone numbers in the first place.
Keep a constantly updated list of your contacts on your PDA or computer. The information can be cataloged by first or last name or by company. Also, don't forget to get their personal contact information -- like e-mail addresses, cell phone numbers, and so on -- in case they move on to bigger and better things.
In order to avoid having them forget you, call them up every couple of months to touch bases. It's important to remember details about your contacts. Ask questions when you meet or talk to them for the first time. For example, you can ask about previous work experience, future plans or even their family. A great way to remember this information is to immediately write it on the back of their business card.
Excerpted By: Tim Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
JULIUS CAESAR (100 – 44 B.C.)
The Military Leader
After Crassus was killed in his quest to conquer Parthia, Caesar turned on Pompey, and took no chances. Caesar’s war reporting was aimed at the public. His military campaigns were marked by personal bravery and leadership rather than brilliant tactics and strategy.
In his commentaries on the Gallic Wars, he noted; “The situation was critical and as no reserves were available, Caesar seized a shield from a soldier in the rear and made his way to the frontline. He addressed each centurion by name and shouted encouragement to the rest of the troops, ordering them to push forward and open out their ranks so they could use their swords more easily. Each man wanted to do his best under the eyes of his commander despite the peril.”
On hearing of Pompey’s assassination in Alexandria, Egypt, Caesar returned to Rome and was given many honors by the senate. He also began to reform the city of Rome: he passed a law preserving the operation of local farms and businesses. Likewise, he reformed the dole; forbidding wealthy citizens to purchase their own grain and refrain from taking free grain from the government.
Caesar took care of his former soldiers, established veteran cities throughout Italy and the Roman Empire. He also made provisions for future soldiers to be provided for after their service ended. He accomplished other great works of public architecture such as, the construction on the Curia Julius, the forum of Caesar, and the Temple of Venus Genetrix.
Source: 50 Military Leaders Who Changed The World, William Weir
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
After Crassus was killed in his quest to conquer Parthia, Caesar turned on Pompey, and took no chances. Caesar’s war reporting was aimed at the public. His military campaigns were marked by personal bravery and leadership rather than brilliant tactics and strategy.
In his commentaries on the Gallic Wars, he noted; “The situation was critical and as no reserves were available, Caesar seized a shield from a soldier in the rear and made his way to the frontline. He addressed each centurion by name and shouted encouragement to the rest of the troops, ordering them to push forward and open out their ranks so they could use their swords more easily. Each man wanted to do his best under the eyes of his commander despite the peril.”
On hearing of Pompey’s assassination in Alexandria, Egypt, Caesar returned to Rome and was given many honors by the senate. He also began to reform the city of Rome: he passed a law preserving the operation of local farms and businesses. Likewise, he reformed the dole; forbidding wealthy citizens to purchase their own grain and refrain from taking free grain from the government.
Caesar took care of his former soldiers, established veteran cities throughout Italy and the Roman Empire. He also made provisions for future soldiers to be provided for after their service ended. He accomplished other great works of public architecture such as, the construction on the Curia Julius, the forum of Caesar, and the Temple of Venus Genetrix.
Source: 50 Military Leaders Who Changed The World, William Weir
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
HOW TO SOCIALIZE, BE FUNNY AND MAKE FRIENDS
(PART 2)
6. Start by doing little things if you are very reserved.
For example, every time you go to school, work, or wherever, say hello to one person and have a one-on-one conversation with them.
7. If you know nothing about the person you're trying to get to know, say little things like "what’s up."
If they are hesitant about answering your questions, share something about yourself, such as where you're going or why you're there. Avoid talking about the weather. As Tom Waits says, "strangers talk about the weather." Try a compliment, that is, if you find something worth complimenting.
8. Don't expect perfection out of anyone, especially yourself.
For example, if you forget your own name while introducing yourself, just make fun of the situation and say you've been eating too much aluminum and mercury and thus developed Alzheimer's, but be careful not to offend anyone.
9. Be patient.
If you are still among strangers, the apprehension of a conversation may cause a delay in comments. Don't worry, that will go away in short order.
10. Talk to older people, maybe even your own folks.
They will be less likely to ridicule you, therefore making it easier to learn to talk well.
Excerpted By: Timo Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
6. Start by doing little things if you are very reserved.
For example, every time you go to school, work, or wherever, say hello to one person and have a one-on-one conversation with them.
7. If you know nothing about the person you're trying to get to know, say little things like "what’s up."
If they are hesitant about answering your questions, share something about yourself, such as where you're going or why you're there. Avoid talking about the weather. As Tom Waits says, "strangers talk about the weather." Try a compliment, that is, if you find something worth complimenting.
8. Don't expect perfection out of anyone, especially yourself.
For example, if you forget your own name while introducing yourself, just make fun of the situation and say you've been eating too much aluminum and mercury and thus developed Alzheimer's, but be careful not to offend anyone.
9. Be patient.
If you are still among strangers, the apprehension of a conversation may cause a delay in comments. Don't worry, that will go away in short order.
10. Talk to older people, maybe even your own folks.
They will be less likely to ridicule you, therefore making it easier to learn to talk well.
Excerpted By: Timo Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
WHAT THE WOMEN WANT
What women really want is pretty simple. Once you’ve made your move, there are a few more strategies you should employ:
* If you want a woman’s phone number, be a man and ask for it. Don’t hand out your business/name card and expect them to make the first move.
* Don’t wait a week to call, thinking you’re playing it cool. Two or three days is plenty of time to wait.
* Don’t until the last minute to ask for a date. Give her the chance to look forward to it.
* Never pressure a woman for sex, especially on the first date!
* Be a gentleman – that means paying for dinner, holding the door open, and using your table manners.
* Always offer your coat on a chilly night – there’s something utterly fabulous about cuddling up in your big man jacket.
* On top of that, be yourself – a really great guy!
By: Lisa Daily
Copyright 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
* If you want a woman’s phone number, be a man and ask for it. Don’t hand out your business/name card and expect them to make the first move.
* Don’t wait a week to call, thinking you’re playing it cool. Two or three days is plenty of time to wait.
* Don’t until the last minute to ask for a date. Give her the chance to look forward to it.
* Never pressure a woman for sex, especially on the first date!
* Be a gentleman – that means paying for dinner, holding the door open, and using your table manners.
* Always offer your coat on a chilly night – there’s something utterly fabulous about cuddling up in your big man jacket.
* On top of that, be yourself – a really great guy!
By: Lisa Daily
Copyright 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
LAWS OF POWER – (EPISODE 3)
GET OTHERS TO DO THE WORK FOR YOU, BUT ALWAYS TAKE THE CREDIT
Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause. Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed. In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered. Never do yourself what others can do for you.
MAKE OTHER PEOPLE COME TO YOU – USE BAIT IF NECESSARY
When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control. It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process. Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack. You hold the cards.
WIN THROUGH YOUR ACTIONS, NEVER THROUGH ARGUMENT
Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory: The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion. It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word. Demonstrate, do not explicate.
Source: The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene & Joost Elffers
COPYRIGHT 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc.
Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause. Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed. In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered. Never do yourself what others can do for you.
MAKE OTHER PEOPLE COME TO YOU – USE BAIT IF NECESSARY
When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control. It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process. Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack. You hold the cards.
WIN THROUGH YOUR ACTIONS, NEVER THROUGH ARGUMENT
Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory: The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion. It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word. Demonstrate, do not explicate.
Source: The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene & Joost Elffers
COPYRIGHT 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc.
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man & his wife were having some problems at home & were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM & he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go & see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM & he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go & see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man & his wife were having some problems at home & were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM & he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go & see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM & he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go & see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Saturday, August 25, 2007
CHANGE BEGINS WITH CHOICE
Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.
We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves."
We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.
We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.
And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life - If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life - and it all begins with your very own power of choice.
By: Jim Rohn
@ 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
ROADBLOCKS TO CHARISMA
The potential to be charismatic lies within each of us, but first we must remove hindrances from the development of this important personality characteristic. What are the possible obstructions?
a) Pride
A prideful person will have a tendency to look down on other people, feeling a sense of superiority. People will not follow or identify with a snobbish personality who is conscious of status and position.
b) Insecurity
Insecure people are not willing to take risk. As such, they remain comfortable and probably, unexciting.
c) Moodiness
This is an immature quality which is detrimental to personal relationships. Moody people are fickle and, thus, people who cannot be depended upon. Confidence is never built on a person who is subject to sullenness.
d) Perfectionism
This is an obsessive need to perform flawlessly. It stifles creativity and freedom, and it turns people way. Perfectionists can rarely affirm themselves; as such, it’s very difficult for them to affirm others.
e) Over Sensitivity
Oversensitive people are constantly licking their wounds. They look inward and are not aware of the needs of others. Naturally, people don’t flock around them.
f) Negativism
By definition, negativism is the opposite of charisma. A person with a constant negative attitude is depressing to be around. Their personality says no to life and people avoid them.
There’s no possibility of being a charismatic leader when no one wants to be around you.
Source: Be A People Person, John C. Maxwell
Copyright 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
ATTENTION PLEASE!
(PART 2)
BE OUTSTANDING.
When we think of the word "outstanding," we usually think of excellence, but being outstanding also means to "stand out." If you want to stand out, do your best to be the best at something. If you want to draw the attention of your spouse, for example, be the best husband or wife you can be. If you want to get a better job, be extraordinarily competent in your current job and seek to learn more to advance your career.
You don't always have to be outstanding at something that's directly related to your goal. For example, you'll find that people who are very successful in whatever pursuit they choose in life often draw the attention of, or date, beautiful women or good-looking guys, even if their particular field of excellence has nothing to do with being a good mate. If you're outstanding at something, just about anything, you'll draw people's attention.
BE SUBTLE.
A patient, subtle approach is important in developing your image because if you look like you're trying too hard to draw attention, you'll simply end up branding yourself as someone who craves attention, which is generally not a desirable attribute.
As an example, imagine you want to get attention in order to make friends. If you stand on your head and insult people, you'll likely get attention for a little while, but you probably won't make friends--everybody will know you're just desperate for attention.
On the other hand, if you draw attention to yourself by wearing a smile, making a conversation with people, or joining a sports team, you'll build a more positive brand and get more attention in long run.
6. BE HUMBLE.
Be outstanding, be confident, be assertive, but don't be arrogant. Even if you truly excel at just about everything, people will try to tune you out or even resent you, if you are a jerk. Don't tell people how awesome you are, show them, and don't make a big deal out of it. Don't blow your own horn too much.
Draw attention to yourself in the wrong ways, and you'll likely end up getting ignored. You need to make a conscious effort day in and day out to draw positive, beneficial attention, but make your effort look effortless, and draw attention by doing positive things.
Drawing attention to yourself isn't always good. You don't want to draw the attention of the tax man, for example, or the playground bully.
Excerpted By: Timo Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
I REMEMBER YOU
I like you but then
The feeling is solely mutual.
The heart maybe afraid to love,
And it takes more than ordinary kisses
To drive its fears away.
But a kiss is too lethal to be spoken of.
Still that fatal kiss is what I’m seeking;
And to get it from a friend like you
In a world that’s filled with madness
I will be satisfied!
Nothing I say can smooth
The wrinkles off your brows;
Nothing I say can calm
The fury in your eyes;
Nothing I say can warm
The hisses from your mouth;
Nothing I say can hush
The thunder from your ears.
But in three words I can say
That, ‘I REMEMBER YOU.’
© 2007 Jack Stevenson
NETWORKING FOR SUCCESS
Blend in
During social gatherings, you have to blend in with your surroundings and adapt. You don't want to create a ruckus, but you don't want to be a fly on the wall either. Learn to associate with others while maintaining your personality.
Don't ask for favors
One of the most common mistakes people make is appearing too eager and in dire need of professional help. But think about it: People don't gain anything from assisting helpless souls that reduce themselves to begging. They want to help confident characters that pull their own weight and simply request information and guidance.
Asking for information and tips will get you much further than asking for something to be handed to you on a silver platter. Work toward your goals, but ask for some help along the way.
Search for a mentor
Developing a mentor/student relationship can be very healthy and beneficial, as the mentor looks after his protégé and takes pleasure in guiding him. If you ask to be set on the right track, most people will be glad to help.
Always return phone calls
Asking for information and help is a two-way street. People like helping others, but they also enjoy -- and expect -- the favor to be returned. If you don't return their call, don't expect them to pick up the phone next time.
Leave on a high note
In addition to not talking too long, make sure you end the conversation on a positive note. If you crack a couple of jokes a la Jay Leno and the person seems to like you, there is no need for encores. Simply get the contact info because the show must go on.
Keep in touch
But making all these new contacts and potential allies in the corporate world, only means something if you can keep track of them and use them to their full potential.
Excerpted By: Tim Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
HOW TO SOCIALIZE, BE FUNNY AND MAKE FRIENDS
Making friends is not always easy. Especially if you are shy to begin with; let's face it, not all of us were born with a natural knack for social grace. But with that said, is there hope for us yet? Here's how to become social and make friends:
1. Just be yourself.
Don't be afraid to express your opinions. If someone makes a rude remark, just ignore them- they don't know what they're talking about.
2. Be optimistic.
Even if you are feeling really down, remember that there's always something out there to smile about. A positive outlook will make people want to be around you more.
3. Crack a joke.
Having a sense of humor is important, but don't get too carried away - you have to be serious about some things, sometimes.
4. Smile as much as you can.
Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying.
5. Listen more rather than talking.
Instead of nodding and smiling and occasionally wiping the drool off your face, try to take what the person says and run with it. Add your own thoughts into the mix - but don't hijack the conversation.
Excerpted By: Timo Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
THE POWERS OF SEDUCTION
Appearance
Be well-groomed and look your best. What you wear can say a lot about you, so choose your message carefully. There are many adjectives to describe how a person looks, so decide on the word you want applied to you and dress accordingly.
Wear something you’re comfortable with, not just sexy. Don’t forget the power of scent. Spray on your sexiest scent and it’ll make you feel simply powerful.
Subtlety
When you approach someone you like, the point is to get your intentions across in a subtle way without sounding too suggestive. Touching her casually on her arm while you’re having a conversation, or your hand on the small of her back, as you walk across a room. Initiates contact with the promise of what’s more to come!
Romance
A touch of romance does wonders too. Think full moon or candlelit dinners, music playing softly… all that stuff you see in movies do work! Show her how much you’re willing to put in. In other words, show her you care and she in turn will do the same.
Charm
Be completely charming and most women will find you utterly irresistible. Put in your best behavior and impress them. Women are vulnerable to men who are adorably charming.
Phone Call
When calling her, be confident and say your name. Make references to the conversation you both had on your first meeting. Go ahead and tell her that you want to see her again.
By: Mia Amran, Malaysian Today
Copyright 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
LAWS OF POWER – (EPISODE 2)
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinx-like. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
SO MUCH DEPENDS ON REPUTATION – GUARD IT WITH YOUR LIFE
Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.
COURT ATTENTION AT ALL COST
Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing. Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion. Stand out. Be conspicuous, at all cost. Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.
Source: The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene & Joost Elffers
COPYRIGHT 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc.
LAYING PLANS
When you lay down a plan, see that it is not disobeyed; if it is disobeyed, the offender must be punished. Nevertheless, while heeding to the profit of wisdom and experience, avail yourself also of any helpful circumstances over and beyond the ordinary rules and modify your plans accordingly.
All warfare is based on deception! Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.
Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him! If he is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him. If your opponent is of choleric (annoying) temper, seek to irritate him.
Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united, separate them. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.
The general who wins a battle makes many calculations in his mind before the battle is fought!
Source: The Art of War, Sun Tzu
Copyright 2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
A SWEET LIFE
A sweet life is a shared experience. Our greatest joys, our most precious moments, our toughest challenges and our most loving times are mostly shared with people. Our greatest learning experience comes from being with people.
To have a memorable stay on this planet we must be prepared to knock down some barriers – make special effort to meet, be with, and get close to people. We have to work a spending time with people, and make it a priority!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
LOVE THE OPPORTUNITY
You have to love what you do, but that's not necessarily true. However, what is true is that you have to love the opportunity. The opportunity to build life, future, health, success and fortune.
For example, "you don't have to love digging ditches, but if it is your first entry onto the ladder of success, you just say, 'I'm glad somebody gave me the opportunity to dig ditches and I'm going to do it so well, I won't be here for long.'"
If you will embrace the disciplines associated with every new opportunity, you will soon find that your self-confidence starts to grow, that you go from being a skeptic to being a believer. And soon when you go out meeting with other people, you will find it to be the most thrilling opportunity in the world.
The new person you met could be an open door to a new beginning. The new friend could be a colleague for years to come. But sometimes in the beginning when we are just getting started, we don't always see how big it is.
So, before you are tempted to give up or get discouraged, remember all success is based on long term commitment, faith, discipline, attitude and a few stepping stones along the way. You might not like the stone you are on right now, but it's sure to be one of the stones that lead to great opportunities in the future.
Excerpted From: Jim Rohn (www.jimrohn.com)
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
THE VALUE OF TEAM WORK
You cannot do anything of real value alone. Team work is at the heart of great achievement. “Behind an able man there are always other able man,” Chinese Proverb.
As such, it isn’t whether teams have value, but rather, whether we acknowledge that fact and become better team players.
Think of one act of genuine significance in the history of human kind that was performed by a lone human being – none! No matter what you name, you’ll find that a team of people was involved. Hence, “there are no problems we cannot solve together, and very few that we can solve by ourselves,” President Lyndon Johnson.
Nevertheless, let’s take a look at the power of teams which has being evident throughout history, even till today’s modern business world:
a) Teams involve more people, thus affording more resources, ideas and energy than would an individual
b) Teams maximize a leader’s potential and minimize her weaknesses. Strengths and weaknesses are more exposed in individuals
c) Teams provide multiple perspectives on how to meet a need or reach a goal, thus devising several alternatives for each situation. Individual insight is seldom as broad and deep as a group’s when it takes on a problem
d) Teams share the credit for victories and the blame for losses. This fosters genuine humility and authentic community. Individuals take credit and blame alone. This encourages pride and sometimes a sense of failure.
e) Teams keep leaders accountable for the goal. Individuals connected to no one can change the goal without accountability
f) Teams can simply do more than an individual
If you want to reach your potential or strive for the seemingly impossible – such as communicating your message 2000 years after you’re gone; you need to become a team player. Individuals play the game, but teams win championships.
By: John C. Maxwell, “The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork”
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
ATTENTION PLEASE!
People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Being a show-off won't get you positive attention, at least not for long. In human relationships, being pleasant and helpful will usually get you the best kind of attention time after time.
If you want to stand out in the crowd; make a name for yourself; get noticed – Take a few moment and explore the various ways you can acquire all the necessary attention you want!
RUN A TARGETED CAMPAIGN.
Like an advertiser, understand why you want to draw attention to yourself. Do you want to make new friends, get a girlfriend or boyfriend, or stop getting passed over for promotions? This is your goal.
Determine who will help you reach your goal. Whatever your goal is, there are certain people who can help you attain it if you get noticed by them. For instance, if you want a girlfriend, you draw the attention of girls.
Figure out how to draw the attention of those people. Let's say your goal is to get a promotion, and your target audience is your boss. In that case, no matter how outstanding you are at your job, you need to make sure he or she knows it. Take credit for what you do and be a team player.
DEVELOP YOUR IMAGE.
Another advertising trick is to "build your brand." Your brand is the group of characteristics that people think of when they think of you, and it requires time and consistency to build a brand. Say you're at a new school and you want to make friends. Your brand should include characteristics like loyalty, friendliness, positivity, and fun.
Do things that build this brand and make you a more appealing potential friend. Other examples of brands include the "bad-boy image," the eccentric, or the flirty, fun guy/girl. Don't try to build your brand overnight, though, or you'll look like you're trying too hard.
BE ORIGINAL.
Looking at the stereotypical brands mentioned in the last step, you may think, none of those are really what I want. That's perfectly all right. You can brand yourself as pretty much anything, and whatever your brand, it should reflect your personality and original style. If you're the same as everyone else, you won't draw attention. Just remember, once again, that if you're obviously just trying to get attention, that will be your brand.
Excerpted By: Timo Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
CUDDLE TIME
All the birds head for nesting in protection of trees.
Enveloped in darkness, somehow it's the right time
For ardor to be stirred by the freshening breeze.
Come lie down beside me as I fold back the covers.
Use my arm for a pillow as you rest your body warm.
So many years have passed, we are still young lovers.
Come lie next to me, I will keep you from all harm....
Let us speak awhile of things both loving and light.
Interlace your fingers with mine, hold tightly my hand.
As we cuddle in the coolness of a December night,
We will talk about things only you and I understand.
I will hold you close throughout the night-time hours
As sleep muddles our thinking and dims our tired eyes
Then, come the morrow we will use all our powers
To remain young enough for another round of sighs.......
Anonymous
NETWORKING FOR SUCCESS
You've heard it over and over again: If you want to be successful in life and career, you have to make contacts. This ain’t about the guys who can get you 10% off canned goods or a discount on your favorite pair of jeans, but the people who can help you on your path to professional success.
When hunting for contacts, the first step is to collect phone numbers. Here are a few tips to keep in mind when gathering the information, whether in business meetings or social events.
Be sincere
The last thing people want is to feel harassed and used. When you acquaint yourself with others, don't be pushy and arrogant; rather, be straightforward and sincere.
Be confident
People like to be associated with confident individuals. If you don't have a spine, they won't take the time.
Have an opinion
For people to trust you, they have to respect you. Therefore, it's a good idea to keep yourself informed and always know what you're talking about, rather than just looking like you know what you're talking about. Your point of view might not always coincide with others', but at least they'll respect you for voicing it.
Don't kill the conversation
There is such a thing as overdoing it in a conversation. When you have been speaking for a little while and there isn't much left to say, exit the conversation smoothly and move on to other people. You don't want to be caught in a silent gaze with someone you just met.
Excerpted By: Tim Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
6 GREAT WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS
Have you ever wondered how some people seem to excel at socializing? Learning how to improve your social skills will give you the ability to know what to say in any situation and be the type of person others love to be around.
Here are 6 great tips you can use today:
1. Awareness of your own interaction with other people is the first step in improving your social skills.
Learn to identify which types of situations make you uncomfortable and then modify your behavior to achieve positive results is a critical step in improving your social skills.
You can learn to become aware of behaviors in other people that prompt you to respond in negative ways and modify your own behavior to turn the situation into a positive experience.
2. You must accept responsibility for your own behavior and do not fear apologizing for errors in judgment or insensitive actions.
Asking others for honest feedback about the way you interact with others can be very helpful. Accept the negative feedback along with the positive and make changes accordingly.
3. Your non-verbal communication is equally as important as the things that you say. Positive body language is extremely important in your interactions with other people.
If your words and your actions do not match, you will have a difficult time succeeding in social situations.
4. In order to learn how to improve your social skills, you must become and great listener. You must fight the urge to respond immediately and really listen to what the other person is trying to communicate.
Offering suggestions or criticism before you are certain of the other person's intent can only lead to frustration for both parties.
5. Improving your social skills is a process and cannot be accomplished overnight. Trying to improve or change too many things at once will be counter-productive.
You will become discouraged and overwhelmed if you attempt to change your entire personality all at once. Choose one or two traits at a time and work on those over a period of time. Learn to take advantage of your personal strengths and make a positive impact on others.
6. Maximize your positive personality traits and use them in your interactions with others. Good communication and great listening skills are the most important tools you can use in improving your social skills.
You can learn how to improve your social skills by developing excellent listening skills, learning to resolve problems and conflicts, understanding body language, and accepting responsibility for your own negative behavior.
Determination and self-awareness will make your desire to improve your social skills a reality.
Nevertheless, In the process of learning how to improve your social skills, your self-esteem will soar and your confidence will reach an all-time high.
By Peter Murphy - http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
HOW TO BE THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE WOMAN AT A PARTY
Try to do something to prep yourself up.
Try dancing in your underwear, at home, before the party. You'll get your endorphins pumping, burn nervous energy and get all the dance moves out of your system, so you won't feel shy when you’re dancing. Just make sure the neighbors aren't home, and close the curtains.
Get yourself into an irresistible state of mind.
On your way to the party, close your eyes, and think about your latest -great- accomplishment. It could be a raise at the office, giving your spouse a massage he loved, or a five-mile run around the block. The idea is to set your 'mood compass' to that zone where you're relaxed, energized and radiantly confident.
Look cool, and act warm.
Wear your favorite curve-hugging jeans and your sexier-than-ever pumps, and then treat everyone like your favorite cousin. Nobody can resist somebody who's delighted to see them.
Instead of an opening line, try a compliment.
Forget asking him for his horoscope sign, try something more along the lines of 'Love your tie, it kinda reminds me of the painting that I love' or 'I'm dying to try that new half-up half-down look with my hair too, it's so pretty.
Lose the handbag.
Having something dangle from your arm all night, eventually, will get quite annoying. Ask a friend (who’s not dancing) carry it for you. Also, having a purse attached to your arm 24-7 makes somebody think that your are just about to leave. So find a place in the corner, put it there, but don’t forget it.
Talk football.
Defying gender expectations -in the right way- can really up your irresistibly quotient with guys. Think of how big, strong men get so much more appealing when they, say, dance with kids. Even better, talk food: 'Mmmmm, you gotta try the ribs' A woman with an appetite: sexy.
Be the only one at the party not drinking.
With a glass full of bubbly water and a lime in your hands, you won't have to confess your alcohol-free state till the end of the night, when everybody needs a ride home.
Schmooze with integrity.
3 musts: eye contact (and no looking over someone's shoulder), responses that show you're listening, and a nice smile, not one that's permanently glued to your face.
Break personal-space rules.
Yes, break them. Standing a little closer than strictly necessary invites intimacy; pull away can literally force the other person to do a bit of pursuing.
Grab something and pass it.
Preferably something slightly illicit, like a tray of dirty martinis. It'll give you a reason to approach anyone, a topic of conversation and an escape hatch - 'OOps! Got to keep passing- should the other person prove less than irresistible.
Speak up.
Be the guest to make the first toast of the night, even if it's simply a big, public thank-you: 'Cheers to our wonderful hosts for throwing this amazing party." Besides, what better trick for getting everyone at the party to see you.
Excerpted By: Timo Steve
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc
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