You can't do that if you're overwhelmed by feelings of doubt or fear or just plain awkwardness. You can't abandon yourself to passion if you don't feel safe with your partner. One result is that he may end up feeling inadequate. This is a less than ideal element to inject into a new relationship.
If you're a man, you may experience performance anxiety and difficulty in getting an erection, even though you're very attracted to the woman you're with. If you're too embarrassed to discuss it with her, to explain that you're merely nervous, the problem is compounded. She may feel you don't think she's attractive — and you know how sensitive women are about this matter.
In any case, what you are left with is a memory of an experience that is, at best, embarrassing, and at worst, can destroy your chances of building a good relationship. If the experience was frustrating, you're not going to want to take a chance on a repeat performance (or lack thereof). If it was embarrassing, you won't want to be confronted with someone who is a reminder of your discomfort.
And if you left your partner with either of you feeling even a little unsure about the experience, a whole new dynamic comes into play. Even if the sex was fantastic, it is normal to be more sensitized in that time right after you part company. ("Was I good? Did he/she really enjoy being with me? Did I make too much/too little noise?")
The questions are endless, but they all are merely different ways of asking, "Am I safe with this person?" If you're not sure, you probably won't even call the person back, because you're afraid of what the answer might be.
The bottom line is that by having sex when you're not really ready, you can not only destroy the opportunity to build a wonderful relationship, but end up cheating yourself (and your partner) out of some really remarkable sex.
Excerpted From: “Cracking the Love Code,” Janet O’Neal
2007 Shaques Publishing Inc.
No comments:
Post a Comment