MAKING THE CONNECTION

The following are tips to help you present your best self to others. And as you read, do a quick inventory of how you rate in each area. It's always helpful to ask friends their observations and feedback.

1. Present yourself as confident and in possession of a healthy self-esteem.

In general, people are attracted to those who appear confident and who feel good about themselves. Certainly, this is a turn-on for you as well. If you feel desirable and sexy, it makes sense that others will too.

To curb you low self-esteem, do some reading, take a class that teaches assertiveness and/or practice daily affirmations. Remember also that when you treat yourself with respect and adhere to healthy boundaries with others, you will foster a healthy sense of self.

2. Be Yourself

NEVER try to be someone you are not. Not only do you come across as insincere, also will present yourself as uncomfortable and make others feel this way right about you.

Being boastful and aggressive only makes you awkward and unapproachable. Relax, and be natural! Be the you that your friends and others know and like, see and appreciate as well.

3. Smile and Show Enthusiasm

Smile always! Have an open and inviting expression. Make good eye contact. People are DRAWN to features like this. Let that attractive stranger know you are open to meeting them and happy to be there. If they show an interest, this will definitely pave the way for a first interaction.

4. Present Your Best Appearance

Always make your best effort in your grooming and choice of clothing. That’s attractiveness! It's not about having beautiful features or a fantastic body. It's all about presenting what you have in the best light possible.

This also includes presenting an attractive personality. Be friendly, not pushy. Be open, not indiscreet. Have opinions, don't be a know-it-all. And consider others' feelings and needs during interactions.

5. Have Some Good Openings Lines Available

Here are some possible conversation starters to consider:

* Do you know so and so?

* I noticed you were enjoying the music a lot, isn't this a great band?

* Your drink looks good- what is it?

* I noticed you standing here alone and thought you may want some company.

* Hi, I'm so and so, what is your name?

Remember that there are no rules anymore about who goes first. If you see someone who interests you, go for it.

Also remember that rejection is part of the process. If you let the fear keep you from taking that first step, you will greatly lessen your chances of meeting and connecting with compatible singles.

By: Toni Coleman, LCSW

2007 Shaques Publishing Inc.